The Trials and Tribulations of Learning Dutch Chapter 4: Lost in Translation

Google Translate: A Girl’s Best Friend

Given the prevalence of emails written in Dutch, I took a Canadian colleague’s advice and installed google translate on my Favourites Toolbar in Internet explorer. Some of the results have been amusing…

– Google translate says: Lotte does not want foot sex with colleagues at the moment

– What the?! Lotte, who twisted her knee on a ski weekend, does not appreciate colleagues trying to play “footsies” with her at the moment…

Another enjoyable one – an email from the IT department requests: “Go to Insite and click on Support in the menu on the left of the screen. You won’t find the answer to your question, please contact the Deloitte Service.” – While I think what was meant was “If you don’t find the answer to your question …” I think the google translate version may in fact have been closer to the truth!

Dutch Proverbs: If the sky comes down, we’ll all be wearing a blue cap

 

I’m also really enjoying learning typical Dutch expressions and proverbs. The one above, “If the sky comes down, we’ll all be wearing a blue cap/als de hemel valt, krijgen we allemaal een blauwe pet” does not appear to really mean anything (and I’m still unclear about when to use it, but figure I can throw it into conversation one day and see what happens).

However, some expressions do seem to be more like the expressions and proverbs I know. Despite this, the direct English translations often involve me saying, “What the?!” before the English equivalent becomes apparent. Here are some favourites:

• Dutch: Het kind met het badwater weggooien
• Literal “What the?!” Translation: to throw away the child with the bath water
• English Equivalent: to throw away the good with the bad

 

• Dutch: De duivel schijt altijd op de grootste hoop
• Literal “What the?!” Translation: the devil always shits on the biggest pile
• English Equivalent: the poor get poorer and the rich get richer

 

• Dutch: met je neus in de boter volen
• Literal “What the?!” Translation: to fall with one’s nose in the butter
• English Equivalent: to land on your feet. Yes, for the Dutch apparently it would be considered a good thing to land with your nose in the butter, as they love butter (and presumably the smell of it). Incidentally, the Flemish equivalent expression is to land with your bum in the butter- presumably a good thing as it would be a soft landing…

 

Dutch Versions of English Songs 

This weekend I discovered that the Dutch sometimes translate English songs into Dutch… Without really taking into account what the original English lyrics were. Two prime examples:

The Kings of Leon song “Your sex is on fire” is sung in Dutch: “Ik wil sex met een kale”.  What does that mean? “I want to have sex with a bald person.”

The Village People’s classic YMCA is sung in Dutch “is hier een plee?” What does that translate to? “Is there a toilet here?” 

One Final Note…

Still on the vein of language, I am always impressed by the slang which Dutch people use when speaking English. This gem recently overheard: “They will be all over this like a fat kid on a smartie!” Where DO they pick such things up?!