The Dutch Update

Photo credit: Marie-II https://www.flickr.com/photos/grrrl/

Let’s start off with an update of where I am with my Dutch right now … I know when I first arrived I was shocked by how few expats were fluent in Dutch. “But you’ve lived here for ten/five/two years!” I would think. 

 

For my friends with Dutch partners, I would be even more incredulous. “But you have an opportunity to practise every day! If I were living with a Dutch partner, you can bet I’d be making the most of it.”

 

Well, as the old adage goes, judge not, lest ye be judged … I am still not fluent, despite being here for three and a half years now, the last of which I have spent living with my Dutch boyfriend.

 

So what happened? How did it get to this? And did I ever finish reading “Harry Potter” in Dutch? (Short answer: no.)

 

It’s tiring!

 

I finally get it. I know why people don’t utilize their Dutch partners in learning Dutch! Because when you finish a long day at work, you’re tired. You don’t have the energy to come home and challenge your brain in another language…

 

I Lack Discipline

 

It’s certainly not for lack of ideas that I don’t speak Dutch. I’ve come up with heaps of creative ideas on how I can practise my Dutch, but these are never long-lasting:

– Dutch Lunch Day Mondays. Only speaking Dutch over lunch with colleagues on Mondays. I started eating at my desk on a Monday.

– Nederlands Zondag Sessies. Sunday afternoons at the pub speaking Dutch, meant to be once a month. I stopped organizing them – excuse: it was complicated with all the expats’ travel schedules…

– Shopping in Dutch. From visits to the grocery store and beyond, an agreement to only speak Dutch with my boyfriend. We’re starting to do more and more shopping online.

– Tuesday and Thursday nights are Dutch nights! Agreement to speak only Dutch on Tuesdays and Thursdays at home with my boyfriend. I started scheduling social activities on Tuesdays and Thursday with expats…

 

We Lack Discipline

 

Always happy to shift the blame slightly, so as to not bear it all myself…

 

My boyfriend’s father recently asked me:

“Hoe gaat het met je nederlands?”

 

As usual, I cringed inwardly, and gave my usual answer: “Niet zo goed als ik wil…” (Side note: my boyfriend has corrected me this would be better said as “niet zo goed als ik zou willen.”)

 

A couple of days later, Easter Sunday, my boyfriend arose and started speaking to me only in Dutch. “What’s happening?” I thought. Easter Sunday, new beginnings? He explained that he felt bad that my response to the question of how my Dutch was going was something he could actually do something about. So here he was, doing something about it. If we practised every day …

 

The next day we were back to English. That’s easier for him too – even he needs to think harder when I’m speaking in Dutch, trying to decipher what I am trying to say…

 

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall… 

 

 

Or as Fred Astaire and Ginger Rodgers sang in Swing Time, “pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again!”

 

So I continue to inject Dutch interactions into my life. Last weekend I went to a new optometrist. I started the appointment in English, but when the going got tough, explained, “Ik spreek nog een beetje Nederlands.” (I only speak a little Dutch)

 

My new optometrist took this in stride, explaining he thought it was GREAT that I was practising, he was really impressed, so he would just slow down and speak more clearly. That was not the response I was going for … Truth be told, I am not 100% confident of how to say all the letters in the alphabet in Dutch. I’m really only 100% confident with the letters in my name… When confronted with the letter G, was he hearing me say G or should that be pronounced differently? The letter J? We completed the session in Dutch. End result: apparently I need a new prescription. I feel like I am waiting for school-end exam results until new contact lenses arrive! The ultimate test in Dutch, with real life consequences. The stakes are high…